The following is an excerpt from the translation of two books written by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, an Egyptian scholar who graduated from the Islamic University of Al Madinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia.
After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:
- Begin with a good greeting
- Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du’aa for her as well
- Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!
Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations
- Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones
- Give her your attention when you speak or she speaks
- Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands
- Call her nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.
Friendliness and Recreation
- Spend time talking together
- Spread to her good news
- Remember your good memories together
Games and Distractions
- Joking around & having a sense of humor
- Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever
- Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment
- Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment
Assistance in the Household
- Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired
- The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work
Consultation (Shurah) Specifically in family matters
- Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you
- Studying her opinion carefully
- Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better
- Thanking her for helping you with her opinions
- Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people.
- Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits
- Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with
Conduct During Travel
- Offer a warm farewell and good advice
- Ask her to pray for you
- Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence
- Give her enough money for what she might need
- Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc.
- Return as soon as possible
- Bring her a gift!
- Take her with you if possible
- The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
- He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadith).
- He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.
Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
- Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
- Always being clean and neat
- Put on perfume for her
Showing Respect for her Family and Friends
- Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents
- Invite them to visit her and welcome them
- Give them presents on special occasions
- Help them when needed with money, effort, etc.
- Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.
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