bismillah image

She treats her sons and daughters equally

 

The wise Muslim woman treats all her children fairly and equally. She does not prefer one of them over another in any way, because she knows that Islam forbids such actions on the part of the parents, and because of the negative psychological impact that this may have over the child whose sibling is preferred over him. The child who feels that he is not treated equally with his brothers and sisters will grow up with complexes and anxiety, eating his heart out with jealousy and hatred. In contrast, the child who grows up feeling that he and his siblings are treated equally will grow up healthy and free from jealousy and hatred; he will be content, cheerful, tolerant and willing to put others before himself. This is what Islam requires of parents and urges them to do.

Bukhari, Muslim and others report that the father of al-Nu'man ibn Bashir (RAA) brought him to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, "I have given this son of mine a slave I have." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Have you given each of your children the same?" He said, "No." The Prophet (PBUH) told him, "Then take the slave back."

According to another report:

"The Prophet (PBUH) asked, 'Have you done the same for all your children?' [My father] said, 'No,' so the Prophet (PBUH) said, 'Fear Allah (SWT) and treat all of your children equally.'"

According to a third report:

"The Prophet (PBUH) asked, 'O Bishr, do you have any other children?' He said, 'Yes.' The Prophet (PBUH) asked, 'Will you give a similar gift to each of them?' He said, 'No.' So the Prophet (PBUH) said, 'Do not ask me to witness this, because I do not want to witness unfairness.' Then he added, 'Would you not like all your children to treat you with equal respect?' [Bishr] said, 'Of course.' The Prophet (PBUH) told him, 'So do not do it.'"14

So the Muslim woman who truly fears Allah (SWT) treats all her children with equal fairness, and does not favour one above the other in giving gifts, spending money on them, or in the way she treats them. Then all of them will love her, will pray for her and will treat her with kindness and respect.